This is my personal blog. This is where I explore the various pitfalls and triumphs in my life. It's a cheap form of therapy, I know...but I don't hold things back here. I don't expect you to agree with what I have to say, but everything I write here is the truth from my perspective...and I won't apologize for it. If what I say offends you, angers you, or effects you negatively in any way, my apologies. Feel free to not come back...I won't mind.

Monday, March 18, 2013

Live Long and Prosper

I've been watching a lot of Star Trek over the last 7 months or so. I started with "Deep Space Nine" (my personal favorite); then "Voyager" (because I never watched the whole run back when it was on the air); and now I'm well into the 5th season of "The Next Generation". I've watched all of the movies and the "Original Series" in the past and have no real interest in going back to them any time soon. I suppose I'll watch "Enterprise" next...even though I never could get into it when it was on the air. I guess not many people did...which is why it only lasted 4 seasons.

As I continue to watch more Star Trek, an episode or two at a time, my thoughts keep straying back to one thought...

Damn, it'd be cool to be a Vulcan.

Think about it.

For the few who have no clue to whom I am referring, please follow this link and catch up. I'll wait.

Done? Cool.

Given the emotional turmoil of which I have had to deal with since August, does it surprise anyone that belonging to a race of hyper-intellectuals who have ingrained logic into their philosophical and cultural psyche would be an ideal state? To a Vulcan, the complete suppression of emotion and the complete embrace of logic is almost a religion.

It's not that I think emotion is bad. Of course I love feeling happy...or excited...or exhilarated. I think lots of things are funny and I enjoy laughing and making other people laugh. However, I could seriously do without feeling remorse, loss, hate, jealousy, and anger...especially anger.

For most people, anger is an emotion that doesn't come as surprise. Something happens to make them angry, then they feel anger. For me, anger creeps up on me. One minute I'm okay, then I start talking to myself (in my head, usually) and then, before I know it, I'm angry. I call it "my white-hot rage monster". I hate that monster.

Your dog dies? That's just a part of life.

Your wife leaves you? If you feel you must...and wish you well.

Your boss yells at you? Thank you for your criticism.

Just the ability to ignore the internal emotional aspects and to look at everything with calm, cool logic? Yes, please.

I guess that's not possible, but it would be really cool. That kind of peace could only bring the personal prosperity I've been looking for of late. Not the prosperity of money, but the prosperity of self-esteem.

Until the time, whenever it may come, when I have more happy days than unhappy ones...

"Peace and long life."

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